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of the job unless it was really necessary.  On the other hand, I was torn by fear of doing myself serious damage by neglecting this trouble.  It was a thoroughly awful hour of uncertainty; whatever I did would have undeniable results or so it seemed.  But, finally, I decided to stick it out tonight anyhow, and I registered at the Ten Eyck.  I called home too, talking to Willie and Babbie, and that helped me immensely; I told Willie I was having some trouble, and if I didn't feel better tomorrow, was coming home - would wire her tomorrow.  It is wonderful how that talk with home helped.  Until then, I felt alone and sick and with friends in a vast, unfriendly world.  And then, with those voices from home, I suddenly knew they were really there and really quite near, and I felt much better.  But what a day!  Hope I don't have many like it.  It marked a low in my spirits for a long, long time.

Albany, N.Y.
Monday, Dec. 12, 1938.
I think and hope that yesterday marked the bottom of my curve.  Today it started up again, thank God.  I felt better this morning, and went by bus to Mechanicville where I got all the breaks in contacting Mr. Van Ness, the new trainmaster, and found him very kindly and obliging, driving down to the depot to get me after I phoned him.  The agent at the depot was very good too, locating Van Ness for me.  While waiting for him to come, the agent told me he