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Page 8        THE SHOW-DOWN
"Fair Exchange"
By
VICTOR ALBAGLI
SCENE: A STORE
-CAST-
Merchant - Goha - Judge
(MERCHANT ARRANGING MERCHANDISE)
GOHA: (Entering) Good morning.
MER: Oh, good morning, Mr. Goha. Well...what can I do for you ...this lovely morning?
GOHA: Got nice shoes?
MER: Why, of course, what size?
GOHA: Nine.
MER: (Pulling out a pair from under the table) Here you are. Like them?
GOHA: (Examining) Nice. Very nice. How much?
MER: (Scratching his chin) Well -- for you -- just because you are my friend -- five dollars.
GOHA: I'll give you two dollars.
MER: What? Do you think I steal for merchandise?
GOHA: No -- but two dollars all I can afford.
MER: Make it four.
GOHA: Two.
MER: Three.
GOHA: Two -- not a penny more.
MER: Stubborn! Well...you have them -- just because I'd hate to lose you as a customer.
GOHA: Good fellow! (Smiling) well, wrap them up. (Merchant begins wrapping shoes). (Goha meanwhile looks around, picks up a hat, and tries it on).
GOHA: Nice...itn't it?
MER: Fits you like a glove.
GOHA: How much?
MER: Five dollars.
GOHA: (Admonishingly) Uh-uh...you mean two.
MER: (Laughing) You certainly are a devil of a fellow. (Pinching Goha's cheek). I wouldn't want to hurt you for anything in the world...not even for the three dollars difference.
GOHA: Then its settled.
MER: Of course, my good man.
GOHA: Well...in that case...will you please wrap the hat instead of the shoes?
MER: Why...I thought you were going to take both?
GOHA: I'll tell you...my shoes are still pretty good...and I happen to need a hat badly. But I'll come back...don't worry.
MER: (Shrugging his shoulders). Just as you say. (He wraps the hat and hands it to Goha with a broad smile). Here you are.
GOHA: (Taking bundle) Thank you...well, goodbye. (Starts for door).
MER: Just a minute, please. Didn't you forget a little...something?
GOHA: (Surprised) What d'you mean?
MER: You...didn't pay for the hat.
GOHA: Of course not...but that was in exchange for the shoes.
MER: Yes...but you didn't play for the shoes.
GOHA: Why should I pay for the shoes? I didn't take the shoes.
MER: No...but you are taking the hat.
GOHA: Must we go all over that again? I just told you I'm taking the hat in exchange for the shoes.
MER: But you didn't pay for the shoes.
GOHA: And did I take the shoes?
(JUDGE WALKS IN)
JUDGE: Hey there, fellows! What' all the racket about?
MER: You're just in time, judge...now look. Goha bought a pair of shoes from me.
JUDGE: Uh, huh.
GOHA: (To Judge) And just as he was about to wrap them I changed my mind and exchanged the shoes for the hat...both articles costing the same price.
JUDGE: Fair enough.
MER: (To Judge) And now he refuses to pay for the hat.
GOHA: (To Judge) But I took the hat in exchange for the shoes.
MER: (To Judge) But he didn't pay for the shoes.
GOHA: (To Judge) I didn't take the shoes.
MER: (To Judge) Naturally...in exchange for the shoes.
JUDGE: Wait a minute...wait a minute...let me think. (He thinks...then...) I don't see anything irregular in  this transaction. Any citizen in good standing, has the right to make exchanges at any store in town. Therefore, Goha acted in perfect accord with the law, Section 23, Chapter 22, Paragraph 21.
GOHA: That's what I call a smart fellow. Come on, Judge, let's have a drink on that, (They exit).
(The Merchant stands there, perplexed, trying to figure out on his finger tips the intricacies of the law in connection with his shoes and hats. He thinks for awhile,and finally shrugs his shoulders.)
MER: After all...may be they are right and I am wrong...anyhow, to make sure, (He pulls out a sign from under the table reading "No Exchanges" and places it on the table).
-BLACKOUTS.
It is our sincere hope that our play Bureau will meet with the approval of the Little Theatre, dramatic and all other theatrical groups throughout the country. Any one desiring the use of these one act skits, based on humorous oriental anecdotes, satirizing justice as applied to the poor by existing order, may communicate with SHOW-DOWN, and we'll be more than please to contact the author for you. Each month we plan to publish such plays prepared especially for SHOW-DOWN by some of the leading playwrights of the theatre.