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Then I love to build dream castles & to place them in a seemingly possible basis.  Wednesday & Thursday nights I shall be free, how to spend them to the greatest advantage!  Oh calm - calm, do not let the imagination fly into such unreal countries.  For one [[underlined]] real real [[/underlined]] sensation, for something real & different, and I look into my heart & into my possibilities.  The world is empty to-night & my dreams are dead embers.  I want to be mad that I may have a madmans vain delusions.  Perhaps somewhere there exists a soul that is reaching out for me, out of the unknown holding out hands that beacon [sic], and perhaps to-night those hands are calling to me.  Maybe that is what I feel & what disturbs my poise.  Tomorrow it will have passed & calm & serene I will take up once my [[the?]] even march of my life.  Dare not read