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underneath to the men I meet, I will not be so afraid to look for it.

August 3rd 1894.

Last night I dined out.  After dinner Mr. Porchon talked to me. It was not quite as nice as on the piazza the surroundings were not as agreeable, but we got on very well, laughed a lot and enjoyed ourselves generally, that is I enjoyed myself. I don't know if he enjoyed it. I think we are getting
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to be very good friends. He is always impressing it on my mind that he is so old and so experienced that I have a wild desire to ask his advice in some imaginary conditions. For instance when I am alone with him the next time I will very seriously tell him that at last his plan has succeeded. He has impressed upon my mind that his grey hairs make him a fit confident for so young and inexperienced a child as myself. Will he listen to what I have to say? Yes, well then he realized that there are
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