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236

well.  I have not been able to make out if Mama likes him.  You see until about a week ago it never entered my head that he really cared or that I cared at all, so it did not make much difference to me what Mama thought.  Since that time I have not been able to make out much.  I wonder if she knows at all that I care in the least.  I think not.  Cornelius does not like him I am almost sure [[strikethrough]] because [[/strikethrough]] but then he does not know him, the same with Alfred.  You see you need not be afraid of my being carried away.  Did any one ever argue out a matter more coldly.
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237

Saturday Mr Cottenet, Mama did not leave the room, I was furious.

I am sure papa hates me.  Perhaps not exactly that, but he does not like me.  I don't know what I have done, but I think it is more what I have not done.  He does not think anything I do is right, he thinks me still nothing but a child and - lots more.  I know it.  I feel it.  My instinct tells me it is so and a womans instinct is right.  I am a woman now, I know that too.  I have changed lately, perhaps Papa feels that and it may be what he does not like.-

I look back to my entry