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236 well. I have not been able to make out if Mama likes him. You see until about a week ago it never entered my head that he really cared or that I cared at all, so it did not make much difference to me what Mama thought. Since that time I have not been able to make out much. I wonder if she knows at all that I care in the least. I think not. Cornelius does not like him I am almost sure [[strikethrough]] because [[/strikethrough]] but then he does not know him, the same with Alfred. You see you need not be afraid of my being carried away. Did any one ever argue out a matter more coldly. [[end page]] [[start page]] 237 Saturday Mr Cottenet, Mama did not leave the room, I was furious. I am sure papa hates me. Perhaps not exactly that, but he does not like me. I don't know what I have done, but I think it is more what I have not done. He does not think anything I do is right, he thinks me still nothing but a child and - lots more. I know it. I feel it. My instinct tells me it is so and a womans instinct is right. I am a woman now, I know that too. I have changed lately, perhaps Papa feels that and it may be what he does not like.- I look back to my entry