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The Philadelphia evening Bulletin, Saturday, October 17th, 1874. 3

An Uncertain Timepiece.
By Max Adeler.

Chubb's clock got out of order the other day and began to strike wrong. That was the cause of the fearful excitement at his house on Wednesday night. They were all in bed sound asleep at midnight, when the clock snddenly [[suddenly]] struck five. The new hired girl, happening to wake just as it began, heard it and bounced out of bed, under the impression that morning had come. And as it is just as dark at 5 A.M. just at this season, she did not percieve [[perceive]] her mistake, but went down into the kitchen and began to get breakfast. While she was bustling about in a pretty lively manner, Chubb happened ti wake, and he heard the noise. He opened to wake, and he heard the noise. He opened his room door cautiously, and crept softly to the head of the stairs to listen. He could distinctly hear some one moving about the kitchen and dining-room, and apparently packing up the china. Accordingly he went back to his room and woke up Mrs. Chubb, and gave her orders to spring the rattle out of the front window the moment she heard his gun go off. Then Chubb seized his fowling-peace, and going down to the dining-room door, where he could hear the burglars at work, he cocked the gun, aimed it, pushed the door open with the muzzle and fired. Instantly Mrs. Chubb sprang the rattle, and before Chubb could pick up the lacerated hired girl the front door was burst open by two policemen, who came into the dining-room. Seeing Chubb with a gun, and a bleeding woman on the floor, they imagined that murder had been committed, and one of them trotted Chubb off to the station-house while the other remained to investigate things, Just then the clock struck six. An explanation ensued from the girl, who only had a few birdshot in her leg, and the policeman left to bring Chubb home. He arrived at about three in the morning, just as the clock was striking eight. When the situation was unfolded to him his first action was to jam the butt of his gun though the clock, whereupon it immedately [[immediately]] struck two hundred and forty-three, and then Chubb pitched it over the fence. he has a new clock now, and things are working better.

The New Fire Plug.

Max Adeler tells the following:
Conshohocken is a "city set on a hill," or rather on the side of a hill. It stretches from the Schuylkill river up the incline to the top, which is about 150 feet above the water level. Last summer a year they determined to introduce water to the town, and they began by erecting a huge reservoir upon the summit of the hill, just beyond the village. When the work was done and the reservoir pumped full of water, Mr. Bunder, who lives down near the river, who lives down near the river, had a patent fire plug of his own invention placed in front of his house. One day, before the water had been turned on by the company, Bunder had his uncle Horace up from the city to dinner, and he took the old gentleman out to explain the fire plug to him. After unscrewing the top and examining the interior, Bunder's uncle took a seat on the plug and began to discuss with Bunder the questions of "Cæsarism and the depression in the price of pig iron." In the very heat of the controversy, the Superintendent up at the reservoir turned the water on for the purpose of washing out the pipes. Two minuted afterwards, Bunder saw his uncle Horace suddenly shoot twenty feet into the air, followed by a column of water six inches thick; and during the succeeding quarter of an hour while the fountain continued to play, old Horace Bunder remained on the top of that column, bouncing about with his legs pointing in quick succession to all points of the compass, and to the earth and the sky, sometimes standing upon his head, sometimes resting upon the pit of his stomach, sometimes with the water in the small of his back, but never for a moment at rest. Bunder tried to turn the patent valve in the plug but it wouldn't work, and he could only stand there and feel sick as he waited for his venerable relative to come down. At last the old man did descend all of the sudden, landing upon his back in the mud, Any other man would have expressed himself in violent language, but Horace merely rose, squeezed the water out of his hair, picked up his hat and shook it, glanced contemptuously at Bunder, went up and kicked the fire plug, jammed his hat firmly over his eyes' took the four o'clock train to town, and before he changed his clothes altered his will so that the $40,000 that he intended for Bunder goes to any man who will invent an infernal machine which will exterminate Bnnder's [[Bender's]] patent rights, for that fire plug can be had at a sacrifice.

The Power of the Human Eye.
How Judge Pitmann held the dog.

— Max Adeler contributes the following: Cooley has a new dog, and I am sorry to say that he is exceedingly vicious; so vicious, indeed, that very few of the neighbors have courage enough to enter Cooley's yard. Judge Pitman, however, had to go in there the other day for the purpose of collecting a bill, and he told me that he wasn't a particle afraid, because he possessed the power of holding a wild animal with his eye. When he looked straight into the eyes of a dog the brute quailed before his glance, and slunk away. He said it proved the superiority of a human being with a soul and a resolute will to the mere brute creation. So he opened the gate and went in. Cooley's dog heard him coming, and immediately flew to meet him. The Judge fixed his eye on the animal for the purpose of holding it, but the dog didn't seem to notice the circumstance. But still the Judge looked, and still the dog came on. Then it seemed to occur to the Judge that perhaps his kind of a dog, and he suddenly moved toward the apple-tree, with the dog close behind him. He became panic-stricken, and made a furious effort to clamber up the trunk. He had just reached the first limb when the dog arrived, and made a snap at him. The dog's teeth caught in the lower part of the Judge's trouser-leg, and as it is a bull-dog, he held on; while the Judge lay across the limb on his stomach, out of breath, frightened, and uncertain what to do. If he dropped, the dog would certainly eat him; if he climbed further up, he would have to take the dog with him. He had just made up his mind to stay where he was while his strength lasted, when he thought he heard the limb cracking, and then he yelled for help. Then Cooley came out, and after making the Judge promise to take 20 per cent. discount off the bill, he pried open the dog's jaws with the kitchen poker, and dragged him into the stable. The Judge came down, hot, breathless, and mad; and he has said to me since, privately, that the next time he wants to hold a dog with his eye he will impale him on a hay fork first. That is a safe way anyhow.

Locals.

—The Twenty-third Ward Poor-house has 53 inmates.
—New corn has already made its appearance in this city.
—The value foreign goods received here last week was $107,016.17.
—James Flanigan committed suicide No. 1104 Parker street, this morning.
—The Citizens' Municipal Reform Association issued another address relative to the election.
—The chestnut speculators have come to grief; ten days ago the figure was $4.50 per bushel, now they can be bought for $2.25.
—Lennis F. Dealy, Esq., formerly of the Evening Hearld, has purchased the Evening Chronicle.
—Tamar Johnson and Mary Fuyey, chargedwith forgery ln [[in]] signing the name of Charlotte C. Parker to a transfer of city loans amounting to $20,800, were tried in the Court of Quarter Sessions yesterday afternoon, and the jury bought in a verdict of guilty, with a recommendation to mercy.
— Twenty-one foreign governments have already accepted the invitation extended to them to participate in the Centennial Exhibition:—Norway, Sweden, Germany, Belgium, the Netherlands, France, Mexico, Guatemala, San Salvador, Venzuela [[Venezuela]], Peru, Equador [[Ecuador]], Chili [[Chile]], Brazil, United States of Columbia, the Argentine Confederation, Liberia, Hayti [[Haiti]], the Sandwich Islands and Japan.

Photographs.

In the Art Department are to be seen some exquisite glace photographs, the work of J. Gutekunct of 712 Arch St., also the prize photographs of Miss Adele and Master Murillo for which Miss Anthony, of New York, wanted the first premium over all the photographers of the United States.
The glace portrait of J. S. Morgan, is one of the finest of the kind ever presented to the Philadelphia public. And for beauty and elegance of finish cannot be excelled.

—A woe-begone western journalist traces a close connection between a "broken spirit" and a brandy-smash."