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The Kellett News
Page Five
News of the Kellet Gang

All employees of Kellett Autogiro Corp. wish to extend their congratulations to Major Leslie Cooper upon his recent commission in the U. S. Army. His timely editorials in the "Kellett News" will be missed by many of his friends and everyone of them hope he will complete his assignments in a hurry and then return to the folds of Kellett's personnel once again. Incidentally Major Cooper has already learned that there are certain inconveniences (not to mention embarrassments) connected with the U.S. Army assignments and commissions - - when he received his recent commission, he immediately ordered new uniforms from Gimbel Bros.; next he proceeded to give all of his civilian clothes to the Salvation Army -- when he called Gimbel's clothing department later to learn why they had not delivered the uniforms he had ordered, he was informed that they had nothing large enough in the store to fit him. Much to his embarrassment he found it necessary to remain in bed for three days waiting for a special (large size) uniform to be made up by a large staff of Gimbel Bros. tailors. Also when he ordered his night gown from the Army, they informed him that the Quarter Master Depot could not fill any more orders at present for individual tents (due to the priorities on burlap). However, each and every one of us wish Major Leslie Cooper the very best of luck and we know that he will Keep 'Em Flying, especially if they happen to be Autogiros.
* * *
An appreciative "thank you" to the fellow who returned my badge.
Ann Martynn.
* * * 
Army Inspector MacDonald wants to know if all the office girls went to bed during the blackout and cooperated with their Air Warden. He claims it is his duty to know those things.
* * *
The following persons have decided to give up smoking for the duration of the War:  Martin Larson, Bob Wagner, Chuck Miller, Mark Dupont, Jr. Some of us wonder if that includes going to smokers, too.
* * * 
How come Mario (The Lover) didn't escort the nurse Miss Jones to the Kellett's house warming??? Tell the truth Mario!
* * * 
During the snow battle between departments B-I and C-I those bad boys Charles Williams and Joe Stutz received a shiner apiece. This is just to substantiate their alibis if any one should doubt their story.
* * *
The Hammer Shop donated their quarters freely with much comment to send (lover) McKune on his way. If Nancy Carrol sees him, he'll need a lot more quarters.
* * *
Dept. B-I wants to know who wrote the article in the Bulletin about the girls doing precision work ? ? ? ?
* * *
Congratulations to "Nick" Melnjak who was made night foreman after four years with Kellett Autogiro. Nice going Nick and here's hoping that since you "broke the ice" you'll keep right on going.
* * *
Anyone wishing to hear the latest joke, just cut you finger; it's painless.

Could it be professional jealousy that prompted Evelyn Sparmaker to become more enthused about ice skating after seeing the champions perform; or is it just because she has become more immune to the (COLD) stares recently. Be it as it may -- she now skates with one foot in the air, sometimes two feet in the air, and she insists that the knot on her head is really a crown she won in the competition match at the Philadelphia Gardens.
* * * 
"The Oklahoma Kid" has been appointed resident engineer on the yellow green power hacksaw. This recent appointment demands his constant attention, and for this reason Wayne has moved to 67th Street section so he could be closer to his machine.
* * * 
Jake has left Bristol! He left many Bristolite girls in tears. He says his work is more important to him than the girls, besides there's lots of sweet opportunity in West Philly.
* * *
Ted Newman's boss is home. She just got back from the hospital.
* * *
The Society of the 400 held a quiet party on Friday, Jan. 23rd. Lou Ginter was given his membership in the society. The results were the ruination of Lou Ginter and the admiration of Milon.
* * *
The House Warming party was a great success -- Milon and Dupont Jr. gained 5 lbs. each. No one has bought any lunch for the week.
* * *
Jimmy Thomas' trip to Pittsburgh was finally undertaken after 6 months preparation and planning. His only regret was the $6.00 he spent for the trip.
* * *
How long can it last -- Chuck, Bob or Mark Jr.
* * *
There will be a house warming party given at "Oklahoma" Wayne's newly acquired estate at 322 Wilshire Rd. next Saturday evening at 9:00 P.M. Wayne needs some second hand furniture.
* * *
One of our best girl mechanics is none other than "Gussie" Dalyrymple -- "Bolt Expert" on the Brewster Flaps (you should have seen Gussie making a bolt for the door the other evening ! ! !)
* * *
Charlie Furtaw (C1) says that the new Brewster spar reminds him of the good old days when he used to make "Sweitzer Cheese", it has so many holes in it.
* * *
Take heed fellows in Dept C1 -- George Poette (Dapper Dan) is setting the styles for what the best dressed mechanic is wearing in 1942 -- be guided accordingly.
* * *
What's the story about Miss "A1" Lomack being a good boxer????
* * *
Larry Isbister says he is one of Sally Rand's FANS. The real truth is that he would like to be one of her fans.
* * *
Chief Estimator at Kellett's (Mr. L. H. Honold) insists that he is the boss when he is home. To provide this he claims that one night when he came home late (after being out with the boys) his wife met him at the door with a rolling pin. When he saw the rolling pin he went right upstairs and crawled under the bed and no matter how much she insisted that he come out to take his medicine, he stayed right there for two days just to prove that he was the boss in his own home.
* * *
The employees at Kellett Autogiro experienced a real miracle the day Evelyn Sparmaker celebrated her so she says) 17th birthday; they saw Evelyn blush. Those in the know claim it was the first time she ever blushed. The climax however was lacking because the Western Union boy forgot to deliver the kiss after he sang "Happy Birthday" to her.
* * *
A certain party this writer happens to know -- is just another dreamer. In some of his dreams he sees Nurse Lydia Jones. Well! we wager a guess he'll just have to go on "Dreaming the rest."
* * *
The girls at Kellett Autogiro received another setback and missed one more good bet to marry one of the good looking boys from the Hammer Shop, none other than Joe Campisi. He has obtained permission from her family to announce his engagement on St. Valentine's Day to marry (an outsider) Mary Parisano. Tough luck again for the Kellett girls. We all wish Joe and Mary happiness and prosperity in their new venture.
* * *
What is this rumor we hear about Dick Witchley (Air Raid Auxillary Police Captain No. 2 Plant -- present Senior Inspector -- former State cop -- past Detective -- previous lumberjack -- perhaps bowler --) now has added another new title to his name "Trans-Atlantic Bomber Ferry To Europe Pilot". It there any truth to this Dick? Or were you just acting when you took that bow ? ? ? 
* * *
Congratulations to Dan Dougherty C-3) and Peggy Sloane who recently decided they would become Mr. and Mrs. very soon.
* * *
The Assy. Bowling Team looks like a real bet for the second half.
* * *
The Martin Flap boys want to know what's the matter -- not marriages lately . . . No collections.

When Leo Carney says he's thru with girls, women and all the female sex -- he sure means it -- how about it, Jean
* * *
Is there anything in the crack about the farewell gift money being so generously given to-- just to make sure the goin away really stuck.
* * *
Bill Bockus (Republic) was certainly a proud papa last Thursday -- a new addition for the 1961 glamour girls. Congratulations to you and Mrs. Bockus.
* * *
Eddie Martin says to his boys "he who relaxes helps the Axis".
* * *
Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Sprague on the birth of their daughter -- Diane Sprague. Thanks for the cigars.
* * *
Jimmy Thomas is thinking about getting married. He needs new tires, he says, so will have to put off marriage till he gets them.
* * *
Bill Beck -- what the well dressed man of Kelletts should wear for a day.
* * *
George Wiren can't be responsible for all his actions. He's been smoking too many cigars.
* * *
John Milbern is getting himself hitched on St. Valentine's Day. Congratulations from the gang, John.
* * *
Jim Gow is a Navy man, and he won't give his opinion on the question of the month. What navy was that you were in, Jimmy?
* * *
What keeps Al Busby so quiet lately?
* * *
Norman Severns is having a barn dance at his home near Mt. Airy -- around 5th & Olney. Whitesides will be Uncle Ezra for the evening.  Norman is celebrating his independence from the Society of the 400. All non-members of the society are invited. There'll be a collection taken up for the wives of the unknown soldiers.
* * *
Jimmy Bosco doesn't trust nobody; he keeps a razor in his tool box.

[[photo]] [[start caption]] All the good skaters of Kelletts were certainly present at the Adelphia Skating Rink on the evening of January 19th. The party was filled with thrills and spills. Many of the Kellett girl workers were there making the evening interesting for the boys attempting to instruct the newcomers. This can't be said about some girls, particularly Helen Heiman, Bobbi Walters, Marge Clifford, Blanche Fletcher, etc. whose skating puts them in the "exhibition class".
Congratulations should be extended to the Committee for the enjoyable evening. Of course, Ed Kurkjian was on hand to record, in pictures, the evening's fun. Let's have another skating party soon. [[end caption]]

William Brown, C-4, gets married this evening. We wish him the best of luck. We all smoke, Bill "out of doors".
* * *
Al Hornick should get in the Kellett Bowling League to show some of the 160 bowlers how to average over 200.
* * *
What with income taxes and all, employees are reminded that Mrs. Ryan is a Notary Public and will be glad to handle notary matters for employees during their lunch periods.
* * *
With Diane Sprague safely delivered, one would have thought that the stork would go on about his business, so why should Eddie Lawrence be looking so worried?
* * *
The Red Cross drive for its huge war requirements is now on. Contributions will be accepted at the Personnel Office.
* * *
The new plan of voluntary payroll deductions fort he purchase of Defense Bonds is being well received by the employees and the number of subscribers is growing daily. This is one defense article on which there is no priority, so get 'em in, boys and girls! 

BASKETBALL
The Kellett Bombers opened the second half of the Federal Industrial League against the Philadelphia Naval Inspectors, who were the first half champions and are the top heavy favorites to win the trophy. 

Although beaten by the score of 34-20 the game was closer than the score indicated with the inspectors sinking 4 field goals in rapid succession near the close of the final period.

The outstanding factor in our team's defeat was their fine defensive play in holding the high scoring Inspectors to 11 field goals, 4 of which came in the closing moments.

After this opening defeat the Kellett boys rather fell apart and were completely surprised by a weak Pennsylvania Railroad team by the score of 36-24.

The Kellett team that took the floor in this game was not up to full strength, Nugent playing with a sprained wrist, Curran working on the second shift and Stutz, our regular center man being absent.

However defeated in actual score when the line-ups were reviewed by the league officials it was quickly noted that several of the P. R. R. players were not eligible to participate in this game due to previous league rulings, therefore this game was awarded to the Kellett Bombers.

HAVE YOU MOVED RECENTLY?
All employees are reminded to keep the Personnel Dept. informed of any change in address, telephone number, marital status and draft classification.

One of the men in the shop was in the habit of sneaking away from work early every day. One day he came hurrying back to work all out of breath --. Upon seeing him back at work one of his fellow workers asked him what was wrong and to this he said -- "That was a close shave, I was almost caught that time, when I got home the boss was there."

Transcription Notes:
Photo placement in text? Not sure I did the photo and caption correctly.

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