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only summer clothes I've ever studied and spent much on in thought & money) wardrobe is gone! Tonight Poyo feels sick & has a fever of 100° - & pray that he feels O.K. in the a.m.

All these things can be minor details - or they can become serious. It is all good for me though - for I have had such introverted fears lately than I can scarcely & don't want to describe them because I am too ashamed - & I think I know their reasons. I am used to creating - either in conversations with beaux & social life, or in a diary - & above all in sculpture - & [[strikethrough]] was [[/strikethrough]] now suddenly I am faced with the sad fact that I've never absorbed - or been used to absorbing knowledge & reading. Our whole trip has naturally consisted of this, plus the fact that we're just married. This also has adjustment problems - & with such a quarrelsome & exhausting & difficult engagement period as we had - the adjustments still must be faced, & [[strikethrough]] we are [[/strikethrough]] I am still tied in knots over the engagement. Life is so ideal in one sense. We have everything - except perhaps the inside turmoil in the face of which "having everything" means nothing. But now having painted the negative side - I can quickly say I think we are & will be happily married for [[strikethrough]] so [[/strikethrough]] many deep & rich reasons! All through our trip Poyo has known so much about everything, & been so stimulating - & [[strikethrough]] actually [[/strikethrough]] when anything really goes wrong he is so dependable that I feel a [[strikethrough]] rod [[/strikethrough]] rich backbone [[strikethrough]] as my [[/strikethrough]] for a companion. His character is difficult - but so is mine. Being used to creating means that emotionally this feels unnatural - & yet it is just what I need - & a few difficulties like this is just what I need - though they are only embryonic ones. Poyo & I are

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