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Dartington [[strikethrough]] SATURDAY, APRIL 25, 1936 [[/strikethrough]] 116th Day St. Mark 250 Days to come (cont) S.S. Wash. would therefore have thought he would realize that the whole weekend was made possible by me, & that I had a right to ask whomever I wanted to come too. He saw it is a most impossible situation for him - having K there too, & though it might have hurt his pride & made him jealous, I thought he might have realized it was high time to swallow his pride, because Kenneth & I were already very much in love, & it was [[strikethrough]] our [[/strikethrough]] my last weekend in England, & too late for John to change my attitude Kenneth was furious, but somehow I just felt sorry for John because he thought he was [[strikethrough]] seeing [[/strikethrough]] doing right, when really he was doing wrong, & he will suffer enough for it as it is - with K & I so devoted, & K's attitude toward him [[strikethrough]] so [[/strikethrough]] less unfriendly. I understood John & just pitied him, for thinking that girls are lumps of putty who can be changed Dartington [[strikethrough]] SUNDAY, APRIL 26, 1936 [[/strikethrough]] 117th Day 2nd Sunday after Easter Southern Memorial Day (Ala., Fla., Ga., Miss.) 249 Days to come cont. S.S. Wash by whatever man their with at the moment. In fact he looks at it all like a game in which he won the first round (when he stopped loving me four years ago, & I left feeling turned down), & this is the second round which [[strikethrough]] he is [[/strikethrough]] I have won - & now there is still to be played the third round! I told him flatly that I just wanted to be friends with him, & that I was in love with K, & would never make him a good wife [[strikethrough]] & were [[/strikethrough]] so that he should be glad I'd never marry him etc etc -& in fact for weeks there was this quibbling & friction between us three & I had waited about telling him there was no hope as I thought in the mean time he would decide he was not in love with me after all, so that it would come from him & not me. Then when I had waited as long as I could, he refused to be effected by my attitude - so that was that - but he caused
