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[[strikethrough]] SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
228th Day   Assumption B. V. Mary Panama Canal Opened 1914 138 Days to come

Cont.

Nat & others. The whole world seems to be out tonight except me, & I couldn't think of a soul but him to take me out when I stopped drawing at 11: & give me a strong drink. [[strikethrough]] S [[/strikethrough]] Vidas asked me to a dinner with the Kittredges [[strikethrough]] & others [[/strikethrough]] - & I regretted having given that up for drawing. Sometimes I wonder if St J. is really in love with Nat S, & is double-crossing me? Oh hell - I have lost 3 pounds struggling with drawing - & [[strikethrough]] knowing [[/strikethrough]] in spite of how much I enjoy that I can still say I'd rather have solved the struggle than have lost those pounds. Sarah & Stirling were here again tonight - & how can she cry when she is with him as she did? I have always said that [[strikethrough]] lo [[/strikethrough]] greed & lonliness & weakness are the main causes of all crimes & unhappiness in the world, & tonight this write up proves me to be the improved possessor of all three. I knew I'd write too much, & give myself away, but to whom? No one but my silly unhappy self - unhappy only because I am my self!

 
SUNDAY, AUGUST 16, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
229th Day  10 Sunday after Trinity  Bennington Battle Day (Vt.)  137 Days to come

May 29th

My mind is swimming with the last two days the way events & thoughts can only swim in N.Y.C. I love N.Y. when I live it, & I live it because I love it - i.e. day before yesterday a letter from Kenneth - sculpturing my head of the girl which everyone likes - Iacovleff's drawings at the Manships - giggling in Warneke's class - Iacoleff uses ink outline, pastel coloring, form with highlights, fine pencil pastel for animal's hair & for drapery & outline here & there. Lots of his finished things are cheap, & even his best drawings have cheap streaks in them - my dinner party consisting of the Warnekes, Jones's & St John before the theatre "Dead End" - everyone was easy & happy all evening ending up at the Jones's appt. I was trembling about it - & so happy Ellen & I succeeded all alone. I [[strikethrough]] brought her [[/strikethrough]] showed her ivory soap pieces to Warneke who was so pleased at her talent that I made her come in, though she almost cried from fright. He was so sweet & they loved her so they want her for the summer - but I don't know if she feels well enough to go on without a vacation. She told

Transcription Notes:
Alexandre Jacovleff Heinz Warneke, LSS's long-time sculpture teacher