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[[strikethrough]] SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
284th Day    82 Days to come
Cont.

past 17 days - I am too tired & will be up here from now on - beyond two [[strikethrough]] sentences. [[/strikethrough]] more paragraphs. They have been closing in on me about Henry - Mrs W saying [[strikethrough]] he had said [[/strikethrough]] I was the only ideal woman for him in the world, & that he told her he feels he has an equal chance with my other men friends, & that I [[strikethrough]] was [[/strikethrough]] am the only woman he is scared of - partly because he would torture the others for their blind love for him which he never gets from me. This [[strikethrough]] is [[/strikethrough]] shows his prussian attitude which she loathes - but I understand it because his wife was like that. Mrs W & Mr W spent a night in Syosset with me day before yesterday so he could see my work, & she told mum she was afraid of my marrying him. mum isn't afraid of that, & she says the lack of common background in our difference of class, & the future of those kids who are probably doomed to insanity are too much to take on. She is right - & the trouble is caused by my allowing him to think he has a chance, but I have done it unwittingly partly because I like [[strikethrough]] him [[/strikethrough]] to see him so much, & partly because he has an optimistic concieted nature [[strikethrough]] about [[/strikethrough]] 


[[strikethrough]] SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
285th Day   18th Sunday after Trinity  81 Days to come
cont

about women, especially since he got the prize money. I [[strikethrough]] wrote him [[/strikethrough]] saw him when I arrived & he [[strikethrough]] said [[/strikethrough]] insisted on seeing me, so I wrote him [[strikethrough]] one of [[/strikethrough]] about [[strikethrough]] its [[/strikethrough]] the best written & most clear headedly honest & loving letters I have ever written, explaining that [[strikethrough]] I would [[/strikethrough]] we could never marry or [[strikethrough]] live with hi [[/strikethrough]] live together, [[strikethrough]] all [[/strikethrough]] with all the reasons clearly stated, & the main reason being that I didn't love him enough. There was his chance to get out, but it only made him like me more for not being evasive, which is what was hard on him. The more I see him the more I like him - his wonderful gift of conversation - his instinct for quality in beauty & sincerety & life in general - his forceful vitality & imagination - his charm & experience & accomplishments - his honesty - his wonderful light touch which so much struggling against & poverty [[strikethrough]] & tragedy has never squl squelched [[/strikethrough]] & tragic situations in his life has never squelched. I gave him the letter one evening [[strikethrough]] when [[/strikethrough]] which we [[strikethrough]] went out [[/strikethrough]] spent sitting outside the Riverside Hotel & talked till 1 A.M. - which was one of the best I've

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