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[[strikethrough]] WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
302nd Day  St. Simon and St. Jude   64 Days to come
Aug 6    PM.

[[strikethrough]] to continue later [[/strikethrough]] I awoke [[strikethrough]] this [[/strikethrough]] today with a bad chest cold - & water on the knee from a bump on a rock of the Island when swimming with Jay. It was 8 a.m. - & the fire engines were streaming by - & the rain & wind was streaming down from [[strikethrough]] as [[/strikethrough]] a storming [[strikethrough]] dark [[/strikethrough]] sky. A bad fire in a terrific & cold rain storm without any lightening - & all so early in the morning - & me going back to [[strikethrough]] sleep [[/strikethrough]] bed instead of to work - [[strikethrough]] th [[/strikethrough]] all seemed most incongruous. But how happy I am to have a day in bed, & to see the rain filling up our well & quenching so much universal thirst. Yesterday I [[strikethrough]] hadly [[/strikethrough]] hardly worked again - & altogether since I went to Norfolk have only done four [[strikethrough]] out of 8 [[/strikethrough]] days work out of 8. Henry appeared there with a charming Mr Hopper - who has a job managing the Wash. P.W.A. projects - & two attractive friends of his. Henry is upset because I am - & he thinks Jay [[strikethrough]] has done it [[/strikethrough]] is my upsetting. Well [[strikethrough]] it is [[/strikethrough]] I can't work on the wooden figures until I get that head cast - because I keep going back to the head to change & study it - partly because 

[[strikethrough]] THURSDAY, OCTOBER 29, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
303rd Day     63 Days to come
Cont.

it is still changeable & partly because it is of Jay. No work, [[strikethrough]] & a [[/strikethrough]] an oncoming cold, & Jay have upset me together with Henry's hopeless devotion & sweetness - & the idea that St.J. is coming here this weekend. I think I will refuse to see Jay when he comes back from Mexico. He is like Dracula - fascinates me beyond words & makes me miserable, so that I spend the whole time [[strikethrough]] with him [[/strikethrough]] trying to squelch & ridicule him until I remember how young he is. [[strikethrough]] and how bea I [[/strikethrough]] Then I long to say something [[strikethrough]] real [[/strikethrough]] sincere & loving to his beautiful face - but I stop myself just in time, so what's the use - he [[strikethrough]] never [[/strikethrough]] rarely receives anything in the value with which it is given, & the risk is too painful. 

It annoys me that he has such a low & condescending opinion of women. He thinks I am his girl, & that he really loves me - well if that is all he expects then he certainly has a puny conception of what a girl [[strikethrough]] can give & get. [[/strikethrough]] is capable of giving & getting. He hated Henry's statue for Stamford - & though I don't like it much either anymore, I defended it staunchly - lying in order to put Jay in his place & keep Henry up in his.