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[[strikethrough]] FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
318th Day  48 Days to come
cont.

Tutzing am Starnberger See - won't leave my side even to eat for fear I'll go away again. Her face is so deep black these days that I might as well be looking at her [[strikethrough]] late at [[/strikethrough]] in the dark night - otherwise she is the same - moving with that special beauty & style, & [[strikethrough]] balancing with [[/strikethrough]] loving with such [[strikethrough]] a saved-up depth as is only possible by saving it all up for years for me & only me as only one with [[/strikethrough]] a saved-up depth as only a Royal background dating from the 8th century BC, could make possible.

"I have thought of Jay often - using him as the pleasantest thought I have to make me go to sleep at night without worry. I remember his saying he never listens to compliments - & I suppose not to criticisms except from his literary superiors, if then. Well that is alright if he is going to be a writer's writer - but if he wants to reach or influence the masses he will have to keep some sort of contact with them - & use them as a thermometer somewhat in order to see whether he's hot or cold." When Paul Manship stopped


[[strikethrough]] SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
319th Day  47 Days to come
cont

doing that look what happened - though that is not a [[strikethrough]] good ex [[/strikethrough]] clearcut example. Jay is already slightly off the track with people, just because he is so independent of their reaction to him (& he reacts so little to them) - & perhaps that wonderful honesty of his can only be maintained through his indifference - he never needs cow tow or adapt [[strikethrough]] himself [[/strikethrough]] or compromise himself. 

Perhaps a certain few superior people should remain aloof, doing the world no good but progressing within themselves & [[strikethrough]] along [[/strikethrough]] side by side with their fellow superiors because they can't be bothered to [[strikethrough]] read [[/strikethrough]] reach down & pull the masses up a little. However Jay has not yet reached that elevated situation, & as it is he is merely on a private tangent among his literary type, & his protected [[strikethrough]] & rich [[/strikethrough]] well-fed life keeps him from really living. He doesn't yet know what it is to suffer with his fellowmen - & has no ability to feel or give sympathy to them because he has no sense of values yet. I remember his telling me that night that [[strikethrough]] he [[/strikethrough]] I was cute & feminine - which he [[strikethrough]] wasn't [[/strikethrough]] didn't think I had it in me