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172
Wednesday, June 20, 1928

(2) feel this because he is my brother.  Oh God no — but I feel differently to him than to anyone in the whole world — any remark he makes that is nasty cuts — it means more than anyone elses.

There has been a queer situation in the family lately.  Mothers attitude towards Charles and I, and Peter.  It is uncomfortable.  Charles and I are one side always.  What is it?  Too modern?  Too intolerant?  I think Mother has read too much of Adler's phycology [[psychology]] — She thinks Peter has an inferiority complex — oh god — why can't anyone be considered normal if he is?

I was amused at the entries about Orvil that I wrote the end of January.  I saw him to-day up in North Shore.  He was decidedly affectionate, and put his arms around me quite naturally — and led me into quiet woods, and lakes and trees.  Wonderful places — and Orvil — awfully young — awfully good-looking, sincere — and a darling fellow — 

173
Thursday, June 21, 1928

God knows why I am writing here and now.  It is so terribly long since I have written.  I have read all my entries, and diaries are very foolish things. 

Since the time I finally confessed in writing that I [[?loved]] Dan — I didn't write — because I was ashamed to see how badly I used words in connection with Al — and I didn't want to repeat them with Dan.  Words that are written do not express more or less.  There are no values to written words — no way of telling how deep is the emotion told.  It should be very simple to say — and I suppose it is — I love Dan — deeply and really.  And if all should be simple — but it isn't.  I must go away — Dan must go away — the fall and winter are vague.  We see each other seldom now.  We love each other.

Charles has been home a long time since I last wrote.  He was all I excepted [[expected]] all I had hoped for — and this was much.  Somehow he has always been a sort of ideal — a real person.  I hope I don't

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