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Washington Wayside
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Random Observations of Interesting Events and Things.

FAME IS FUNNY.
IT'S getting so Amelia Earhart is being mistaken for herself. Driving down recently from New York, the famous woman flyer stopped at a wayside station in Maryland for gasoline. The owner, a fat, middle-aged woman, came up to the car and stared. 

"You know," she exclaimed, "for a minute I thought you were Amelia Earhart."

A short time later two other women came by and the proprietor again approached the car. 

"Lady, will you do me a favor?" she asked. "Here come two neighbors of mine and I'd like to introduce you as Miss Earhart. They're dumb and won't know the difference."

Miss Earhart agreed to play the part. Driving away after the introductions, she glanced back and saw the proprietor, arms akimbo, leaning against one of the gas tanks and shaking with laughter at the joke she had played on her friends. 

Miss Earhart kept the secret for several months, but recently told the story to some of her own friends in Washington.
* * * *
WHAT! NO ELEPHANT?
The managers of a leading hotel here were game sportsmen enough to approve promotion plans for a lobby exhibit of live ducks, fish and quail in connection with the wild-life conference, but drew the line when the publicity man suggested a herd of deer. The press relations man had planned to brorow the deer from the local Zoo. 
* * * *
SAMARITAN.
Remember that chap whose inventive genius got him into trouble the other day-the one who nearly set his car afire trying to heat the oil in the crankcase?

Well, he bobbed up again last Tues-
[[image]]
day with an idea that worked out a lot better; made him a sort of Samaritan, in fact.

It was icy, you may recall, and the neighbors trying to negotiate the hill in front of this chap's house were having a hard time. He watched them [[page is unreadable]]

improvement, so she lectured him with considerable vehemence, all for his own good, of course.

As the lecture proceeded, he first laid down his fork, then began a slow rocking from side to side and as she finished, he rose, threw his napkin on the table and cried, "You old sea hag."
With that, he left for the wailing room.
* * * *
BURN-UP.
THIS game Monopoly literally has one newspaper man "burned up."

It happened this way: The victim
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was forced to remain in bed the other day by a cold which had turned on him for regarding it as slight. Lying there under the rays of a sun-lamp, he decided to while away the time investigating Monopoly. The investigation turned out to be pretty fascinating and when it ended, the warm rays of the lamp had just about broiled the patient. Medium rare, you'd say, after one look at him. 
* * * *
CRITIC.
Out of the mouth of a babe, comparatively speaking, came wisdom the other day. 
She is 9 years old and has ambitions to write. Her mother had taken her to see "Ah, Wilderness," the connotations of which left the child entirely undisturbed. Proving that the world's no wilderness when you are 9, and reflective, she turned to her mother after leaving the theater and said:

"You know, the trouble with people is they try too hard to think. I think they're trying to be too modern."
* * * *
SMITH'S FRIEND.
REPRESENTATIVE CREAL of Kentucky is one House member who apparently is a little fed up with those of use who are inclined to question the motives of Congressmen when they vote on such matters as the bonus, etc.

The other day there was quite a tiff in the House over whether $27,000,000 should be voted for the Indian Service. The appropriation finally won, with Mr. Creal among those voting for it.
Then, a but ironically, he explained his vote as follows:

"I haven't any Indians in my district. But you undoubtedly recall how Pocahontas saved Capt. John Smith, and I do have a lot of Smiths."

Transcription Notes:
I was unsure whether to include the hyphens in words that were broken by new lines. I have included them for now. (From "General Instructions for Transcription") "One exception: if a word is hyphenated because it goes across two lines, type it out as one word"

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