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CONCERNING THE NEW YORK MARKET A page with the publishers of The New York Magazine Program, presenting some facts and figures concerning this great market. The New York Magazine Program is distributed exclusively to theatre patrons of New York's leading legitimate theatres. New York Theatre Program Corp., Publishers. Offices: 108-114 Wooster Street, New York City. Telephone: Canal 6-5500. President, Ralph Trier; Vice-President, R. M. Huber; Advertising Director, W. E. Simler Editor, Barbara Blake. CONVENTIONS People come to New York for all sorts of reasons—a lot of them attend conventions, trade expositions and the like. All sort of meetings are going on constantly in New York, everything from the Bureau for the Safe Transportation of Explosives and other Dangerous Articles, to the Asphalt Institute, and including the Atlantic Cat Club, Jute and Gunnies Importer's Association and the United Order of True Sisters, Grand Lodge. One that we missed last year but hope to make in 1931 is the American Standards Association—we didn't know there were any left. THE QUIET FUTURE There is, and we are never tired of pointing this out, an enormous and constantly growing market for all sorts of noise preventatives in New York. The noiseless riveting machine is being perfected and automobile horn manufacturers have gotten together with the gratifying result that only 7 per cent of the horns now being manufactured produce a raucous note, as against 95 per cent last year. City noises are actually driving people crazy, and something has to be done about it. An ordinance is pending which will make the unnecessary honking of horns a violation punishable by a fine of a dollar or so, and radios outside of stores are being abolished. But these things aren't enough. Mr. E. F. Brown, director of the Noise Abatement Commission, in a recent speech declared that the time will come when we will look on noiseproofing as on fireproofing, and will put up our buildings accordingly. Noise filters will grace our windows and even the subway will be quieter. He asses that by 1941 the city should be "fairly comfortable" as far as noise was concerned. BILLIONS We went down to William Street late one night during the moving of the City Bank Farmer's Trust Co. from its temporary quarters on Exchange Place to its towering new building. Billions of dollars' worth of securities had to be transferred, as well as the tremendous amount of equipment that goes to make up a big bank. Police cordons had been thrown about with a lavish hand, and there were reported to be machine guns on guard. The securities were moved by the simple expedient of cutting a hole in Exchange Place and hoisting the safes our of the vaults below and onto trucks. We went down in the faint hope that such an important moving would be impressive. What we saw of it wasn't. After the dead desertion of Nassau Street at midnight it was cheerful to come into the glare of floodlights and the hustle of moving men. It was amusing to watch one of New York's Finest performing a neat Irish jig, accompanying himself by twanging on his night stick. But it wasn't impressive. New York takes its billions even more casually than we had supposed. ADVERTISING FUNDAMENTALS IN NEW YORK CITY New York is the richest market in the world. The New York Theatre Market is an unrivalled concentration of spending power. The New York Magazine Program reaches that market exclusively. Year after year, quality product advertisers have found these fundamentals to be the key to an effective and economical New York policy of advertising. National Theatre 1 ARROW BLACK OUTS Who Killed the Laundress? (Suggesting the manner of Edgar Wallace) [[image - drawing of four men with an X labeled MARKS SPOT]] Bachelor Tenants of 45 West 9th Street SMITH WILLIAMS JONES BROWN [[image - drawing of policeman]] [[caption]] Inspector McManus [[/caption]] (Scene: Bachelor rooms at 45 West 9th Street. Inspector McManus and the four tenants are discovered. At front, center, is the dead body of a laundress, pierced with an ugly paper knife.) McMANUS—One o' yez done it. That's a cinch. None of yez have left the flat since she come in to deliver the laundry. JONES—It's preposterous! I have a date at the Biltmore, I tell you! McMANUS—Hold your horses. Your date'll find plenty substitutes. This note found on the body says,"You will shrink my shirts, will you?" Whose laundry did she deliver? BROWN—She works for all four of us. She deliver at the same time each week. McMANUS—Let me see the laundry. (Williams points to an opened bundle.) It's been open! WILLIAMS—Sure, we all changed into clean shirts. We looked forward to Mrs. Gibney's weekly visit. You see (visibly embarrassed, bid full of emotion, you see, she was, well . . . a sort of a mother to us all. McMANUS—Matricide ain't no better than moider. I'm going to find the guilty man. SMITH—I do hope you don't turn off the lights and re-enact the plot. That's so ancient Inspector . . . It first appeared at the old Majestic theatre in 1895. The cast was . . . McMANUS—Shut up, and take your coats off. (The four obey sullenly.) Now take off your neckties and unbutton your shirt collars. JONES—Do you expect to find the solution tattooed on us? McMANUS—Never youse mind. Hurry up. (They follow instructions reluctantly. McManus inspects the label of each shirt. Then gets out a pair of handcuffs.) SMITH—I hope you're satisfied with the inspection, Major. (Without answering, McManus clamps the twisters on Williams. There is a scuffle and protest which the waves aside.) McMANUS—The motive was shrunk shirts. Three of yez are wearing Arrow Shirts, which gotter stay the right size because they're Sanforized-Shrunk. So the moiderer is the other guy. WILLIAMS—Just a minute, Inspector. I've got Jones' shirt on by mistake. JONES—That isn't mine. I borrowed it from Smith. INSPECTOR—Shut up. You're gumming the plot. The only thing I want to get across is that Arrow Shirts stay their right size. They're guaranteed permanent fit. (CURTAIN)
