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my work. I drove to Los Angeles one rainy day in February, 1975 to get my autographed copy of Through the Flower, attended the Women Writers Conference in March, and finally, in August decided to move to L.A. and enroll in the FSW. I was still unsure of exactly what I was getting into and was afraid to make a move that, from all I had heard, would change my life. I began to keep a journal.

My Arrival... 1975

September 17 - The Woman's Building has moved to North Spring Street. I was surprised to see the new Building, big, empty space. Lots and lots of women working there. I am curious to meet women who will be in the FSW with me. I got lost on my way there today, it took me three hours. I wonder if this is really what I want to do for the next year. I miss everyone.

October 6 - Fifty women enrolled in the program with me. The staff is bigger than I thought: Suzanne Lacy, Deena Metzger, Arlene Raven, Helen Roth, Sheila deBretteville, and Ruth Iskin. I am so self-conscious! We had a day of worksharing; it was exciting to hear about everyone's work. We are all so different from one another, writers, performers artists, administrators, photographers. I think I am the youngest one here. I keep comparing myself to everyone, getting scared, deciding over and over whether I should stay or leave. Our marathon CR (consciousness raising) on money, authority, work and sexuality was pretty good. CR will meet each week. I feel awkward in the group, but could see it as a good "home base".

"The feminist educational process involves constant re-evaluation of each woman's relationship to herself, her peers, her teachers, her family and the world. This results from her developing self-awareness and self-empowerment. She is no longer a "victim" in relationships, but an active participant, able to communicate clearly and have an impact."
Cheri Gaulke

October 16 - Today was the fourth day in a row Sheila Ruth and I shot interviews with women working on reconstruction of the Building. I'm still shaky behind the camera and Sheila is asking a lot of me. Got one really nice shot of a woman putting walls up in the graphics lab. We had CR about mothers yesterday. I discovered that my definition of mother is someone who'll take care of me and make me feel good about myself. And I'm angry that I don't have that person in my life, that I don't have a "nice mother". I feel confused about that relationship and what it means about how I see myself. After CR we ran on the railroad cars and celebrated ourselves, and our mothers, hooting and hollering and doing the Irish Jig.

My Feminist Art History class started and I like it. I'm the only person who hasn't had art history before and I'm holding back, feeling uneducated. I like how Ruth encourages participation, asking my feelings about the different art works. I love hearing about Mary Cassatt.