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Monday, august 21. Woodstock

People often have asked me if [[strikethrough]] my work has changed very recently. About a year ago I made intentionally effort to change my attitude in painting but as time went on I forgot about point of changing but I went ahead as things occurred to me as time went on. I suppose all the time underneath I hadn't forgotten fundamentally I wanted to change but I wasn't very conscious of it except at the very beginning. I do not know where these rumors pass around that my work has changed because I certainly haven't passed around any word that my work has changed.  Perhaps people suspect that my work has changed because I haven't been showing my work much. However, the more I hear about comments about my work, I think maybe I've changed. When they ask me "how I've changed" I didn't know what to tel l them. How I've changed, what direction I've taken, because I wasn't aware of it- it wasn't deliberate. At a time I made foolish remark about my work saying that I've gone toward a more sadder kind of life or that war affected me, so that I see things more on darker side of life. I knew the minute I said that [[strikethrough]] that [[/strikethrough]] I made a mistake saying that because it isn't true underneath in my attitude to my work -- or perhaps superficially it appears to be that way so that I just say it and get away from such questioning. somehow or other I didn't want to go into it every time people ask me because I'm not at a stage where my work can be analyzed even by myself because I'M only halfway trying to get to the point. Whatever it turns out to be, I do not hesitate to go on the way I am going on now.
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