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Artist Statement for Mukenthaler Museum Show of Jouranals

My first diary was a small book measuring 3 and a half inches by five inches. The pages edge were gold leaf. A small lock with a key was provided to maintain a very private space. The inside pages were divided equal so the one small book would cover entries for five years. The writing space was all of one inch by 3 and a half inches. For a girl eleven years old this was more than enough. June 6th 1957 entry, Dear Diary today we went to Sauhura beach with daddy we had fun. I got a new suit. My cousin was there. 

One of the unspoken rules for keeping a diary, as young girl was the book must be kept locked with the little key and all entries must begin with "Dear Diary" My next diraries were chosen because I needed more space to write. The diary would cover only one year not five. The books came with a key for secrecy and protection from my older sister whom would lock anywhere emotional weaponry.

Life got bigger and my borders were expanded as a teenager. The diary also needed more space. I found some desk diaries and began using them. I dropped the introduction Dear Diary and of course there was no lock and key. The books needed more protection.

1961 was the last diary for about 10 years. I started to keep sketchbooks for some of my high school art classes. My drawing in the sketchbooks were able to make a visual, record of my emotional history.. Words were not included on the page. 

In 1965, I became a mother, married, and started to paint and enter shows. The titles of the painting gave words to the images. I felt so exposed with my work and titles. I was a young mother taking care of a house and husband and the suburban seam start to unravel and become frayed.

We moved to California and I started to have the dream again of being and artist. I was accepted at Art Center College of Design. Once again I needed to keep sketchbooks for my art classes. Notes from classes and supplies list were also included on the pages. 

And then the inner voice started to speak and words and images got placed in one book. That was 1976 one hundred and fifteen journals ago, I never intended or thought