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their is nothing or me to say, my faults loom up so many, that it is not necessary for me to think of any of yours, I know of none, you are all that one can desire, it would take one fine as you someone your equal to be your mate, I will never be that. The more I think of it the more miserable I'm going to feel, tomorrow I shall go away for a few days up the mountain I shall take my paints with me, to paint and mock myself, my painting has been going bad now I know it will go worse. There is nothing for me to say. You have presented the truth so strongly to me there is nothing for me to do but except it as it is and let it decide. If I had only looked at my faults more than I did at your vertues I would not have been so blind to the truth, thinking of you made me forget my own wretchedness. Forgive me for having made you and myself unhappy. I would have been so from the start but why could I not see the truth then. It is not my fault that I love you, everything that I have ever done has made myself or someone else unhappy. I hope even if it is misery to me that I will always love you as I do now. I wish this were all a dream from which I would wake up in a world which were more real than life which is a dream.

Transcription Notes:
there are multiple times it looks like the word could but "built" or maybe "breath" but I cannot make out the word