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[[strikethrough]] C. Con [[/strikethrough]] C. Coan
1889 Brookwood rd.
Norfolk, VA 23518
July 11, 1982

Dear George:
So busy and yet taking precious time to visit the sick...such a balm, your letter. Intuitively, you understood my frustration and not only shared your own incredible experiences but also furnished me with the necessary means of obtaining information for further enlightenment. May you be abundantly blessed!

The A.R.E. library had approximately 14 books on Sri Aurobindo. I renewed my membership and took only one, "The Life Divine" 1,040 pages including index. As a lay Eucharistic minister in my parish, I not only distribute Communion in the church but also to the sick in their homes, nursing homes and hospitals. Last night I withdrew from this commitment without any feeling of guilt as out new pastor strongly emphasized the need for more people to help and the response was such that I feel no longer necessary to continue this ministry. I must admit I breathe a sigh of relief because the few pages that I have read of Aurobindo's book make it difficult to put down.

Since our conversation and your letter I have been enlightened in at least one respect. My feelings of being somehow imprisoned, "closed in" may be caused by my soul's readiness to enter a deeper level of consciousness, or does one day a deeper state of awareness? It is like a baby ready to be born to a new life and yet resists (fear of the unknown) or like being in the tomb awaiting resurrection. Whatever words I find, they do not adequately describe this state. I keep feeling that there is something right at my fingertips; yet, I cannot quite grasp it. There should be hospitals for those in this particular condition to assure a safe journey, or delivery. I suppose that is what churches are supposed to be, in a sense. But how can ministers bring you to a land they have never travelled?

Your letter re-awakened and stimulated a desire to seek with more determination the way to further advancement. For this, I am deeply grateful, as it is a terrible thing to feel as though one is dying helplessly on the vine, so to speak. I am interested in learning about the followers of Sri Aurobindo. I'm sure you have benefited much by your association with them. I have so much to learn! Thomas Merton certainly sensed our need to learn from the East and I have always respected his opinions regarding the spiritual life.

My mother was born in Austria and my father in Warsaw so this European influence causes this hesitancy to address you by your first name. However, Ward seemed adamant when I asked his opinion. I will continue to address you as "George" unless you prefer Mr. N. I am comfortable only if you are. Incidentally, Ward was delighted with your book. And the inscription really gave his spirits a boost. You are probably surprised that he has always admired you. I have heard your name mention periodically over the years since we first met 14 years ago. His daughters and I thank you, because it is not often that we see him uplifted these days. Your book will be very interesting to read, that is obvious from the few pages I've read in the book store. Ward and his daughters should be through in a few weeks ad I know there is a treat in store for me.