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sleep but I was sleeping with 20 or 50 other people in a big dark barrack and couldn't get up and write you the letter the way I felt like I never thought of writing you about it because I didn't feel like having rights over you and you are alone and too many people around But more and more I suffer now because of the feelings that you are no more the same toward me and you have your own separate life - Who the hell knows how to write you this things without being too brutal or too mild but it hurts me now all the time more and more and I whish we'd be married so at least you'd feel kind of duty of yours

I think I'll write you in the afternoon another letter
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