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think with a great leap of joy, that it was my own little Hope that was there, the one I had found first, and lost, and then found again. Yes, you are mine now, for I have won you; after a long and hard fight, in which I fought most against myself. That is the worst adversary I will ever have, & I shall probably have to fight him all my life, because my name is Heautontimoroumenos.

And yet, I feel glad that I did fight. Something made me try to show you the worst side of my character, to have no disguise or pretence with you, but be blunt and rough and reticent, even when I wished most to have [[strikethrough]] your trust and [[/strikethrough]] friendship. Surely, no one could have gone about it in a stranger way; and if you had utterly misunderstood and left me, it would have only been what I deserved. But [[strikethrough]] yet [[/strikethrough]] you did not: perhaps because 

you saw more than I would show; but principally because you are so gentle, with such a wonderful sweetness and patience, Hope! If you could have been here a little longer, I would have tried to show you that it was not lost, but that I would still strive to be worthy of your friendship; And when this troublesome, tenacious mood of mine had passed, leaving only a great tenderness and gratitude behind, you would find me entirely different with each new and changing sides of character and of fancy that you would not know if for the same person. 

That is what wakes me so suddenly and when I remember when you said this last evening that I was the only one who had ever understood you. I [[strikethrough]] did not give [[/strikethrough]] soon gave you reason to believe that. On the contrary, if anyone deliberately set about to misunderstand you, saying the opposite always of what he really thought I reckon, it was I. [[strikethrough]] If you knew how beautiful you [[?]] way they seem to me, with new & [[?]] meanings. [[/strikethrough]] 

Transcription Notes:
The last sentence is partially crossed out. Heautontimoroumenos Poem by Charles Baudelaire