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297

Tuesday Dec. 3. 1878. I missed Gertrude so much last night and my soul went out so longingly in search of her after I went to bed that it was late before I fell asleep and again this morning before daylight I awoke and felt so sad and longed so for her dear companionship. After breakfast I drove down town to do some errands chiefly to dispatch the little box to Taylor by express which I did and mailed my letter to Mrs. Taylor. When I came back I gave Jamies little wagon a coat of paint and after dinner brought down my easel and got a canvas ready and drew and laid in a little picture of the brook in the Kaatskills of which I made a sketch when Calvert and I were there last, which I intend if it is successful as a Christmas present to John & Nannie. Maurice brought me a long and most friendly letter from John Weir and Dr. Johns bill for visiting Gertrude and enclosing Dr. McDonalds. Dr. John's was $100. and Dr. McDonalds $30. My father and mother returned by the 4 o'clock train from N.Y. having enjoyed their visit and the play. Lucy & Andrews went with them. Sedgwick came home with my father & mother and John & Lucy with Miss Wilkins are coming tomorrow. Lucy sent me all my letters &c from my box at the Studio Building and among them was a letter from Mrs. Weeks written in October.

Wednesday 4. It snowed this morning but only a little. I finished painting Jamies wagon and intended to begin my little picture but it was so late when I finished the wagon and we expected Lucy and John & Miss Wilkins so that I deferred it until tomorrow and did nothing in particular this afternoon except to put up the flags to welcome our guests who came by the 11 o'clock train from N.Y. I think so constantly of Gertrude when I have no work to occupy me. I have thought of her so tenderly and sadly today, even when I was at work alone the regretful tears would come as I thought of her and her unreturning footsteps. Will her absence grow more painful to me or will I grow accustomed to it? I ask myself often. O! what I have lost, what I have lost. Weir sent me a letter of Genl. Seymours from Florence.