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me in many things. It is raining hard tonight with a strong wind from the South. Susan had a letter today from Oscar Sawyer from Japan.

Saturday Nov. 29. 1879. Have had a bad feeling in my head all day. Went over to my studio and tried to paint a little on Marys portrait changing the background. I cried so for dear Gertrude this morning and thought so tenderly of her when I went to the closet and saw her dresses hanging there just as she put them there. I see them every day and never without a sigh and a pang at my heart.

Sunday 30. A fierce, bright, cold day. Jake and I ate dinner drove up to Kingston to call on Genl. Sharpe. Found him just at the end of dinner with Mr. Timpson, a young gentlemen. Seveyran Sharpe his son and young Timpson. We went into the dining room and had a coffee and a glass of wine and afterwards to the parlor where were Mrs. Sharpe and her sister Mrs. Timpson. The house was very pleasant and we had a pleasant visit of an hour or more. I return to N.Y. tomorrow.

Dec. 1. 1879.
Monday 1. Left home at noon today to return to N.Y. Jake Sharp and his wife and daughter with me, who went home to Elizabeth. We had had a pleasant visit from them which I think they enjoyed very much. Found Mrs. Wheeler's Dora's and Mrs. Custers cards and a letter from Lucy. I couldn't help a discouraging feeling on arriving here. There were bills to pay, and just before I left home my father told me of school tax to pay and for now all these things crowd together to trouble me. I miss dear Gertrude more and more when these times of discouragement visit me. I try not to be troubled but I cannot help it. Attended a meeting of the Council for the first time this winter. Mrs. Huntington was not there and I presided.

Tuesday 2. My box came from the Express Co. today on the terms I proposed to them. Have painted a little on my figure picture but am not much in the mood to work. I am not possessed with any idea to carry out and this is all wrong. An artist should never lack for a subject. My room is full of pictures and there does not seem to be much stimulus. I think the position of American Artists a peculiar one. In all the interest everywhere manifested in Art they seem to be the only ones who are neglected. Called on Mrs. Taylor and had a