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137

Sunday Feb. 1. 1880.

Mary and I went to hear Robt Collyer preach. His sermon seemed to have been written for me. His idea was that we should look from within towards the light, rather than to turn our eyes within upon our doubts and trials and afflictions. I recognize the wisdom of it all and I try to do it, but he made no allowance for temperament and constitutional tendencies. We cannot do all we try to do. After dinner came to my room and wrote to Sara, my father and to Mrs. Sawyer. We went to Mrs. Taylors to tea. Mr & Mrs. Morse were there and Mary, Calvert and I. Booth and his wife and Edwina called at Vauxs later and spent the evening with us. 

Monday 2. Calvert and I went to see Mackayes new theatre next the Fifth Av. Hotel. It is very pretty and they are hurrying to get it ready for Wednesday night. We went all over it, saw the three story stage and the drop curtain occupied by Tiffany. Painted all day. Booth came in about 3 and staid until I went home when we walked up together. A letter from Sara. The weather very cold. Went to the Council meeting.

Tuesday 3. The wildest of snow storms raging when I  awoke. The wind blew a gale when I went over to breakfast and I found it difficult to get ere. It has been the most severe storm of the seasons. Went over to the Brevart House in the afternoon and found that Joe and Gussie went to Rondout by 11 o'clock train. Drew at the Academy in the evening from the female model.

Wednesday 4. Went home by 8 A.M. train. Cold and the river full of ice. Ferry boat crossing regularly. Went to Kingston after dinner with my father and other and completed the transfer of our Mortgages to Booth, my fathers for $10,000, mine for $4000 and took them to the clerks office to be filed and arranged with Girard about the insurance.

Thursday 5. Came back to N.Y. by 11 oclock train. leaving home very reluctantly. It seemed to me I would like to die myself there away from every body and give up this lonely and unequal struggle, but I would be unsatisfied there as I am every where, for there is much anxiety there too. Went to the lecture on Anatomy at the Academy in the