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where she is while I go on alone never quite becoming quite accustomed that she can take no share henceforth in my daily life. Happily I am not able to conceive that she does not exist somewhere and for me. A postal card from Sara tells us that Julia is very ill and that Saturday will be the twenty third day of her sickness when they will be able to know more about it. Marian is sick too and I know how worried and anxious they all must be.

Friday Nov. 25" 1881. Went down town this morning to get various supplies for the builders. It was bright and cold. Recd a letter from Downing in which he tells me he ascertains that the "bark braid" is patentable and gives me suggestions. Mrs. Van Deusen sent for me to come and see her. She has a friend visiting her, a Mrs. Hirsch a rich lady from California who wants to see some of my sketches. I made an appointment to meet her at my studio when she returned from a ride she was taking with Grant. They drove up shortly after and I went over there with her. Aleda came for her almost immediately however as she was going away by the train but as she is to spend the winter in N.Y. said she would come to my studio there.  She seemed an interesting, lady-like person. It has been clear and cold all day and it is real winter. As I came to my room I looked across the snowy landscape and thought how sweet and restful these early winter days used to seem with dear Gertrude here to enjoy them with me. I never entered this room that I do not think of her and in the twilight the very shadow of her sweet self seems to meet me here.

Saturday 26.  Went to N.Y. by the evening train arriving there at 9.30. Slept at my room.  Fred Nortons mill burned last night.

Sunday 27.  Went over to Calverts to see how the invalids were getting on. Found Julia convalescing having had over the fever period. Marion is apparently going through the same thing.  Booth and Edwina had arrived from Baltimore and were stopping with the Benedicts. Sent word by Downing I would go up to see him about 8.  Went to my room and spent the day dismantling my studio, dusting every thing carefully and carrying it in to the bed room.  Pretty tired at night when I went to Marys to dinner. Calvert and I went around to the club after dinner to smoke a cigar. Booth sent me word to come up and Mary and I went up there and staid until after 10.  Had not much opportunity to talk with Booth as there were a good many people there.  I find he feels a sense of relief as is natural.  He told me that the McVickers would not let him appear at the funeral of his wife except as