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Wednesday Apr. 5" 1882. Calvert came over to my room with me. He urges me to go west with Pumpelly and has lent me $200 to go with. I began a picture 24 x 20 based on one of my Kaatskill brooks, but I am tired doing the same things over and have to acknowledge to myself that I paint now what I think will sell. I have to do it and once I did not stop to think of that. Made a good start on my picture and felt better. Called on Mr. DeForest in the evening. He is rich but has a trouble in his limbs which no amount of riches can compensate for. Church was in to see me. Wants Calvert and Mary and me to come up and visit him. He looks better than usual. Went back to Marys from Mr. Deforest, then to the club where I wrote a letter to John McEntee and talked with Linton a while and then to my room. 

Thursday Apl 5. Colonel Compton of Fort Sidney called on me. Went to the Private view of the American Artists Society. It is an interesting exhibition and yet there are only a very few things I would care to own. Went over to the Academy to see Brown but he was not there. I am never able to find him. Met Fuller who bought Giffords picture at auction the other evening for $3000. He wanted to consult me about a frame for it and finally he wanted me to go down to Kirbys gallery to see the picture. It is one Gifford began long ago, and never finished, because as I thought he did not like it. It was a repetition of his Home in the Wilderness painted for Goupil. It seems that Mrs. Gifford had Bristol finish it and he had done it very judiciously I thought. Called on Mrs. Compton in the evening at the Gilsey House. 

Friday 7". Days of utter weariness and tormenting anxiety. I am too troubled to take any interest in my work. The picture looks appalling to me. I wish I could overcome this frightful depression. Worked all day and at night felt disappointed and miserable. 

Saturday 8. A warm day. I painted on the Johnson picture and just before noon Eastman came in. He liked the picture and told me to send it up to his room and if the man in Portland did not take it he thought it would sell. The trouble is I dont know when he will paint the figures. I went home by 4 oclock train. Found my mother gradually getting the use of her hands. A note from Emma Brace asking me to come up on Friday if fair

Sunday 9. Took the horse and wagon and Jamie, Sedgwick and I went down to the Steep Rocks for a couple of small briars to set out on dear Gertrudes grave. I 

Transcription Notes:
cant make out name of person he may go West with Frederick H. Pumpelly of Oswego, NY, was associated with the Hudson River artists.