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Saturday June 5" 1886 I answered Mr. Semples letter last night thanking him for the trouble he took to explain the matter with the Art Union and regretting I had no picture to send. I also wrote a note to Perry telling him what Mr. Semple said regarding his hopes of an early settlement with the Art Union. I feel wretchedly discouraged and unhappy his morning. It was too beautiful a morning to be wasted in useless anxieties, but I always feel most discouraged in the morning. How I long for my dear Gertrude in this lovely house and how constantly I think of and miss those who have gone from it. What would my life have been could I have foreseen the day when we three should be left here alone with all the sad memories. Sometimes it seems to me if we could go away from it altogether we would get rid of many sorrowful suggestions. Perhaps the day will come where we will be obliged to leave it and then we will remember only the happiness we have experienced here; one full share indeed, as happiness so measured out to mortals. I went over to my studio and determined to paint something if I could only compose my mind, but I have no heart for my work and can not drive myself to it. I finally did begin a picture 20 x 24 from a little sketch I painted years ago and which I have always liked. I worked until noon, and covered the canvas, but it is poor. I shall go at it again however and perhaps I may get something out of it. After dinner my father, Sara, Girards wife and Girardie drove out to Mr. Brooks going around by Saunders old place. The wind was with us and it was pretty dusty, but it was pleasanter returning. My father stood the ride well and was decidely improved by his ride yesterday. Sara had a letter from Janette tonight and one from Lucy. She was hourly expecting Genl. Howard and party. The probability is John will have to stay there until July 1, unless Genl. Howard sends his relief before and Lucy is going to intercede with him to do so.

Sunday 6" The weather is remarkably cool but pleasant. I read the Sunday Tribune and finished Pendenius and have commenced Henry Esmond. I cant keep track of Thackerays geneological lists and get his people, except the principal characters, much mixed. My father has sat on the porch most of the day. I picked our first peas today and a large basket of strawberries some of which I took over to Girards. John and Nannie came up for a little while this morning. He has had an application for the purchase of his house from Mr. Harris of the gas works, but he doubts if he will buy. I talked with him a letter about selling our place but he agrees with me that it is difficult to sell in Rondout. He is inclined to think Cuykendall has use for all of his money in the various businesses he is in. I have tried to keep my mind off my anxieties today and have partially succeeded but not entirely. Wrote a letter to Brother and directed it to Newport.

Monday 7". Went over to my studio after breakfast and spend the forenoon painting on my picture. I am in great doubt whether I will make any thing out of it. I wanted fullness and richness of color but latterly my pictures lack that. What a comfort it would be if I could get absorbed in my work. After dinner I trimmed all the lamps which had got out of order and then took my father for a drive. We went to the Roa=tina where I cut some twigs to make trellises over the graves in the cemetery for the morning glories to run over. I drive to the Cemetery my father going with me and arranged the trellises in Maurices, Janes and Grandmothers graves. The south wind blew with a melancholy sound and the little flag placed at the head of Maurices grave as decoration day flapped forlornly in the wind.

Transcription Notes:
all transcribed, 1 [[?]] ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-09 23:23:38