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and worked on my picture the remainder of the day. I think I have nearly completed it. It is not entirely satisfactory but I will improve it and make a good picture of it. Now I feel I will have something in the Autumn Exhibition of the Academy and as though I had produced something, which is always a satisfactory feeling. But I confess this picture has not been the outcome of a strong impression but rather produced in hours when I have time to escape from harassing thoughts to lose myself in thinking of pleasant places and serene days. I smoked a pipe this evening for the first time since Aug. 1". Cousin Rachel went home by the Powell this morning. Jamie drove her down and we were up at 4 o clock getting her and her trunk off. It seemed like the middle of the night. I feel something of a peaceful feeling tonight, I presume because my picture is not a failure and as though some good fortune had befallen or is about to befal me. I cut this paragraph from the World today. I would like to hear from Booth.

[[clipping]] A Letter from Edwin Booth. 
[From the Charleston News and Courier.]

A check for $1,000, sent by Edwin Booth, the tragedian, to an old and dear friend in this city, whose home was destroyed by the earthquake, was received yesterday. The munificent gift was accompanied by the following beautiful and feeling letter:

BOSTON, Sept. 1.
MY DEAR OLD FRIEND: The earthquake horror reminds me that I have (or had) many dear friends in Charleston. I can't help all of 'em, but if the inclosed can relieve you and the dear ones use it——would to God that I could offer more. Bad as it is, it might be worse. The Almighty loves us despite his chastisements. Be true to him. He will not desert you. My little life has been a chapter of tragedies, as you know, but I have never despaired——never lost my "grip" of the Eternal Truth. "The worst is not" so long as we can say, "this is the worst."

Give my love to all old friends of mine, and assure them that though I may never see them again in the flesh, they are vivid in my memory, "wreathed with roses" and red ribbons. Your old friend,
NED. [[/clipping]]

Sunday Sept. 12" 1886. There have been threatenings of rain today but it has only sprinkled a little. I went down into the cistern to see its condition which seemed satisfactory. It was much cooler last night and has been today. I have felt less troubled, more quiet and I think it is because I have succeeded with my picture and feel that I have accomplished something. Lucy, Andrews, Sara, Jamie and I went over to my Studio today to see it. It looked very well to me and they all thought it very successful and an attractive picture. I have been thinking of my work today and feel an interest returning. I am sure my old enthusiasm would return if I could get a little money and have a little relief from the anxieties of living and providing for the demands upon me. I wrote to Kurtz at Louisville today to find out whether my Detroit picture ever got there. I sent Hibbard a check of $60.82 for our winter supply of coal which leaves me only about $40 in Bank. I shall have to pay Tom $25. next week and then must devise some way to get some money, probably get a note discounted at the bank, which I dread to do without some sure provision to meet it. I also wrote to Bonyer.
[[left margin]] Wrote Kurtz and Bonyer Sent check for coal [[/left margin]]

Monday 13". The wind was from N.W. this morning and all day an Autumnal coolness has prevailed. My first thought on awaking was of dear Gertrude and I have been thinking of her all day and how lonely my life is becoming. What will it be when Lucy and Andrews go away. This sense of loneliness has been most oppressive all day. I have no desire to stir from this spot and dread to meet any one Where will it all end and am I to be lost in this wretchedness. I went over to my studio and tried to design a picture. I looked over all my studies which often stimulates my imagination, but they only suggested sad memories of places where I had been with Gertrude and Gifford and the friends who are gone. Then I came back to the house but it was lonely here and I did not know what to do with myself. Mrs. Osterhoudt drove up with invitations to a party in Kingston in a fortnight but the idea of a party is most distasteful and I almost wonder that any one can have the heart to give one. Kurtz sent me a catalogue of the Louisville Exhibition but my Detroit Autumn picture was not in it. I hope I will hear from him this week and learn something about it. The Holland Society comes here tomorrow the guests of Sam Coykendall. They go to the Kaatterskill Home to dine and pass the night, but I am as much out of all these things as though I did not exist. 

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---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-12 22:04:40.