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Unknown Phyllis Gag. DETOURS 05/MAR/1970 A newly hired traveling salesman wrote his first report to the home office. It stunned the brass in the sales department because it was obvious the new man was almost completely illiterate. Here is what he wrote: Dere Bos-- I seen this outfit which ain't never bot a dimes worth of nothing from us and I sole them a couple hunerd thousand dollars of guds. I am now going to Chicawgo." Before the illiterate could be given the old heave-ho by the sales manager, this letter came from Chicago. "I cum hear and sole them haff a millyon." Fearful if he did and fearful if he didn't fire the illiterate, the sales manager dumped the problem in the lap of the president. The following morning the ivory tower members were amazed to see the two letters posted on the bulletin board, and this memo from the president above: "We ben spending two much time trying to spel insted of trying to sel. Let's watch thoes sails. I want everybody shud reed these leters frum Gooch, who is on the rode doin a grate job for us, and you shud go out and do like he done."