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Unknown
Barrie Payne
14/OCT/1969
IF ABE'S WIFE HAD BEEN ONE OF THOSE
Dialog between Lincoln and wife, with Abe setting the stage.
ABE:  This is what might have happened, we think, if Lincoln's wife had helped him rehearse that speech...... Fourscore and seven years ago -
MRS:  Wait a minute.
ABE:  What's wrong?
MRS:  Who knows what fourscore means?  You and I do, of course -
ABE:  Oh, all right, so I'll make it eighty-seven.  Eighty-seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent -
MRS:  And how about mothers?  They did some bringing forth too, if I remember correctly.  As a matter of fact -
ABE:  Oh, all right, all right.  Eighty-seven years ago our fathers [[underlined]]and[[/underlined]] mothers brought forth on this continent a new nation conceived in -
MRS:  Hold it!
ABE:  What's wrong?
MRS:  Conceived is a dirty word.
ABE:  What?
MRS:  Or anyhow indelicate.
ABE:  Oh, all right, so I'll make it devised or contrived.  Eighty-seven years ago our fathers -
MRS:  And mothers.
ABE:  I was going to say that.
MRS:  Oops, I'm sorry.
ABE:  Eighty-seven years ago our fathers and mothers brought forth on this continent a new nation devised in liberty and dedicated to the pro-position -
MRS:  Oh no, no!
ABE:  What's wrong now, for Heaven's sake?
MRS:  The word proposition, of course.  When you proposition a person -
ABE:  Yes, I know, I know!
MRS:  How about credo?
ABE:  Okey, so it's credo.  Eighty-seven years ago our fathers and mothers brought forth on this continent a new nation devised in liberty and dedicated to the credo that all men are created equal.
MRS:  And all [[underlined]]women[[/underlined]], for Heaven's sake.
ABE:  Yes, of course.  I'm sorry.
MRS:  And what's next?
ABE:  Now we're engaged in a great civil war -
MRS:  What's civil about it, for Heaven's sake?  It's the most uncivil, the most brutal -
ABE:  Okay, okay, I'll leave out [[underlined]]civil[[/underlined]].  We are now engaged in a great battle, I mean war, testing whether any nation so conceived, I mean contrived, I mean devised - oh, to hek with it!
MRS:  Maybe you better just tell 'em some jokes.
ABE:  Yes, I guess you're right.  Fourscore and seven years ago Pat and Mike were in a saloon and Pat said to the bartender - (fanfare). THE END

Transcription Notes:
heck is misspelled