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Unknown Mary McBride 01/AUG/1967 SKIT IN WHICH HUSBAND IS MAD BECAUSE WIFE IS ALWAYS ON PHONE: FANG: Can't you ever be off the telephone when I get home? PHYLLIS: I've got to go, Mable, Fang's home. (Hangs up) I work all day, and that's the thanks I get. I'm the best housekeeper in the neighborhood. FANG: What makes you think you're a good housekeeper -- just 'cuz there isn't any dust on the telephone? PHYLLIS: I never get to talk. Did you notice this morning the minute I got on the phone the kids wanted something? FANG: Yeah, breakfast! It was 7:00. I couldn't even through at noon, and you know how I like to call you at noon. It's easier to take half a day's complaints at a time. PHYLLIS: I don't talk on the phone much. FANG: You don't talk on the phone much?! What other woman has offers from sponsors?!! If there were a parking meter in front of that phone, we could have paid off the mortgage. PHYLLIS: How could I get this tan if I were always on the phone? FANG: It's probably from the light on your Princess phone. I called home 10 times today and the line was busy. PHYLLIS: I was ordering groceries. FANG: What do you do? Run a super market? PHYLLIS: And I had 50 calls to make for the PTA. FANG: What's that? The Public Telephoning Association? PHYLLIS: I wish we didn't even have a phone. FANG: O Yeah, how come you start every conversation with, "What Hath God Wroght?" Just one day I'd like to have a busy wife instead of a busy line. I hate to see kids running around the house at 11:00, still in their pajamas. PHYLLIS: They haven't done that for moths, since...since. FANG: Oh, yeah, since you let 'em sleep in their clothes. I'll bet you don't even know how many kids we got. PHYLLIS: Well, when I used to count them, it just made me nervous. FANG: You wouldn't even know it was raining outside unless the phone leaked.
Transcription Notes:
Kept spelling "Wroght". Kept spelling "moths".