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Portland today was a frost as far as accomplishing much is concerned and what was accomplished didn't require me. Neal had no date with Abbott at all – simply ran into him there and under the circumstances we had only a few words regarding the locomotive situation at the Brown Company. Abbott was rather vague about the whole thing, seemed to feel that later was a better time to make a survey when things are busier but said he'd be "glad to see" us anytime. So we can go up next week if we wish but I question how much good it will do. The thing that gripes me is to come way over here today so needlessly. I thought Neal had a date all lined up with Abbott with a party at the hotel afterward, and we have a chance to discuss the whole affair with him. I might just as well be at home this minute.

One thing Abbott told us was that his boy Parker, who wanted to get in the G.E. Illuminating Engrg. Department is going back to Northwestern and take a business course. We tried to get something for him but with no success.

Perhaps this weekend alone will be a good thing if it allows me to get hold of myself. The disappointment at the office, the war, a let-down after vacation – all have combined to shake me quite appreciably. I've not got a firm enough grip on the tiller right now and I've got to snap out of it. I can't afford to let myself drift so aimlessly. It isn't good. So maybe this weekend will allow me to take hold, think things over a bit and get straightened out. I must. I owe it to the family to do it. For their sakes, I can't go along this way.