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Erie, Pa
Tuesday, Jan. 9, 1940.
Delaney pronounced me almost well today but still wants to see me tomorrow. As I have mentioned before in here, I have given a lot of thought to the future and to my own philosophy in the past few days. Of late, I have been very prone to worry about the chances of my "coming through" at the office along the lines that Whitey outlined because Whitey has made no mention lately of it. In the light of my reflections now, I see how silly such worries are. I want to get this promotion of course, but worrying about it won't help. If I carry on to the best of my ability, it will come if it is best for it to come. And if it doesn't come, I must believe it was not for the best and the future will still be good, maybe better than if it had. I have come all this way I fully realize, operating on perhaps half my potential horsepower. If I start operating on my entire power, I see no practical limit to where I can go.  My real problem is to learn to put my full capabilities to work and keep them working most of the time. Very occasionally I have in the past, stepped my horsepower up to near its peak and seldom have I failed to connect with the problem in hand when I have done this. Now I must step it up and keep it up. The major step in this proceeding is to make myself think constructively about my work, and then to overcome my diffidence and express my ideas. I appreciate fully that my diffidence and reticence coupled with my mental laziness are the big things I must overcome. When this is done, I honestly believe I can rise high. My mind is good, my command of the language excellent, and all I have to do is put these faculties to work for me. There is the big problem in a nutshell and it can be overcome.