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10/15- Guggenheim application in : the complete lack of hope for any fellowship vs. the bright hopes of last year. But I did it today just to be able to say that N.Y. has not yet completely humbled me. To Rehn Gallery today - Carroll, Mattson, Speicher, etc. some good, most of them very conservative. Not the art of today. The Art Digest of my past 3 years misled me. Reworked "Bay" - entirely different. The stupid smugness with which I painted this summer! 10/17. The depths of humility in the big city! (The League didn't come across.) A long session with Sternberg. He doesn't understand my ideas on art. I had him [[end page]] [[start page]] pinned down to admit he regarded certain art principles as absolutes. He doesn't know Kokoschka (from whom I derive support in my theory that composition is a personal thing in that it is dependent on what the artist wishes to express. I came home from the subway at noon utterly lost - with doubts about what others are trying to teach me, with doubts about my own ideas. Last night - to the League of Am. writers class in poetry under Joy Davidman. She liked my sonnet House with Background - called it a first class job. She found some lines obscure - I had to explain them -