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MARCH 15

19 ^[[stay here so bad that I have seriously contemplated killing myself. I could only make her a rich widow that way so I wouldn't do it for that reason if no other. I think she would actually prefer that I did. I am deeply hurt and]]

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MARCH 16

19 ^[[wish I could have a good cry, it might make me feel better. Barbara I expected better of you in this circumstance although you have shown me what you were from the date of July 2, 1955. I don't know why I hoped and expected better of you now. You aren't capable of it.]]

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