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probably because I have passed through such a time of stagnation I have now come to a time of feeling and thinking.  Every faculty again seems alive.  I want things, I am going to get them and I am aware of what is passing about me.  I am gloriously alive.  But with it I feel the power of suffering.  I know that I have it in me and I know too that if it once got the best of me something dreadful would happen.  A certain woman whom I know pretty well has come to me and asked me to help her to decide a difficult question.  The conditions are there.