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218

February 18th 1895.

Again last night I could not sleep, it was not as bad as last time but I was awake over two hours. I got up at last and made up my mind to take something to make me sleep. The only thing I had was a pill that I take when I am unwell and have pain. It has morphine in it and always makes one sleep. Well it had that effect and others too that were not as agreeable. I feel rather miserably to-day. That accounts I suppose for my blueness.

Yesterday Mr Sands came again. He came in after
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the walk Saturday and Mo called. I really did not think he could come Sunday but he did. There were some other people there (Papa was present) but instead of leaving with the others when they left Papa stayed. He was quite funny about it.- He deliberately stayed standing up and I saw from the look in his face that he would not leave us a moment. And he did not. Mr Sands wanted to speak to me alone that I was sure of, he wanted to ask me when we would meet next; and I found this morning I was right.