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54 sank into the chair itself. I wish I knew just what to do. I can't quite make my mind up to anything and yet I feel all the time that I have not much time to spare. I think the best thing to do is this - we are the best of friends in the world - make him see that I think him a true friend and that is [[underlined]] all [[/underlined]]. I would indeed be an idiot if I did not know he cared for me he has let me see that, but he must think that is possitively the [[underlined]] only [[/underlined]] way I thought of him. For instance [[end page]] [[start page]] 55 say something about "I wouldn't tell you this if I didn't know you so well. We are friends now, aren't we?" Good, you are improving. I want to think up something to tell him about to-morrow night. [[underlined]] April 18th 1895. [[/underlined]] The Gerry's dinner to-night. How ridiculous that I should be excited, as if I had never been to a dinner in my life before.