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did he is sure to come to-morrow afternoon which is just what I don't want. If he came back I suppose he will call late this afternoon. I will toss up to see. Last time I tossed up it came out right. -

[[underlined]] April 24th 1895 [[/underlined]].  I am getting so unrestful, its perfectly frightful.  I can't sit still & read.  I can't write for ten minutes without getting the fidgets.  Sometimes I am ridiculously happy & high spirited, other times I am so blue I possitively cry.  The idea of [[underlined]] my [[/underlined]] crying.  I am the most-self possessed individual in the world so far as that goes as a general
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rule.  Sunday evening I almost died I was so blue, Monday I almost gave up and ^[[Sunday]] lay flat on the floor on my back and put out all the lights and the tears would come.  I fear I am thinking too much about myself.  Monday afternoon I told Mama a good many things I have not before and oh dear me, last night I could eat [[underlined]] nothing [[/underlined]] for dinner.  This morning I was too unrestful to stay home or to go out in the ordinary way.  I wandered off by myself in the Park & sat on the benches and