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132

I wear the little gold heart as a sign that my heart is his - its my only consolation. I admire, respect and honor him nothing more - only there is no other man I can say as much of. He will be in Newport some time this summer and he will come to see us. But he does not care for you. No, no - but - well? Oh nothing. You are very changeable. No I have never cared like this before. Don't talk like that - look back to the entries on April 17 for example. That was different. I never really admired that person or respected him it was because he cared for me that he occupied so much of my time
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133

[[underlined]] July 11th 1895. [[/underlined]]

I know for a fact the following - Mr Sands has come here this summer for the sole purpose of getting me. He is in love with me and is going to do everything in his power to have me. If he does not succeed he will not be in New York next winter he will go away. Pleasant for me to know all this isn't it? He told by my manner that I did not like him as much when I came back from Europe as I did before I went (which was true) and now I have this confronting me. You see I was right all along, a girl always knows about those things. It was Esther who told me, because he spoke very freely