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if I loved a man who did not love me I could never tell him of my love - that is a girls lot. But it seems to me even pride would stand aside at such a time. Suppose he was going to life in another country and marry another girl, then it would be hard resisting the temptation of saying to him "I love you."

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Its evening and I am in bed. I wonder what sort of an evening it is in Lenox and if [[underlined]] he [[/underlined]] is dining out. I wonder if he has thought once of me since I have been away. I see him in my minds eye now. His broad beautifully shaped figure, his decided features. I hear his voice, the tenderest
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voice in all the world. Will we meet again or is it only to be "ships that pass in the night." I received a signal from him, did he receive one from me? -- God willing I will know some day. Amen

[[underlined]] July 13th 1895 [[/underlined]].

Mama remarked yesterday that I looked so tired - there is only one thing to make me tired now, and that is waiting. I have taken violently to letter writing.

Who do I care for- ? Oh what matter to-day I liked Mo better than in [[underlined]] all [[/underlined]] my life. The following called - Mr Cushing, Howard Cushing, Pery Belmont,