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29 Dear Dearest-Person-in-the-World, The last three days have been a century. I have ^[[been alone &]] have had to turn into myself and find an answer to my questionings [[strikethrough]] I have had to face [[/strikethrough]]. I did not realize how I would feel when [[strikethrough]] I left when [[/strikethrough]] there was no possibility of seeing you for days and weeks. I did not know the horrid empty feeling I would have - a physical sensation - as if I had not eaten in days, and then ^[[too]] the despair [[strikethrough]] at night [[/strikethrough]] ^[[that swamped me I said]] I wish I wont [[strikethrough]] stand [[/strikethrough]] it, and then[[ came to me]] realization that I just must. [[strikethrough]] Oh dear [[/strikethrough]] ^[[Stand it]]! I am glad you said to me that you knew I cared, glad that you told me you felt my loss, for somehow that has made these days easier for me to go through, I don't know why. ^[[I don't know anything]] I only know its for good & ^[[all]] [[strikethrough]] the time & [[/strikethrough]], that I love you and that no matter what happens, no matter, even if you get tired of me I must go on loving you. Somehow one knows. I look back on all the heavenly things you said to me, the divine experiences we had together and I try to be happy, but I am going further away from you every second and I only know that I am miserable. [[strikethrough]] I have played at love as you know - but now it is different and I am afraid when I think of how you can hurt me - for once before in my life I really loved & I suffered as I never hope to suffer again. So be good to me dear for you can hurt me beyond all things because - I love you [[/strikethrough]]