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see that there is an harm done.  [[strikethrough]] Of course it was natural that you should have suspicion of me. I did let him kiss me as you know, but its very different from other things, and I am sorry now I did it as it will only made him unhappy - while I meant to make him a little less miserable.  [[/strikethrough]] I will cable you when I sail for there is an excuse for that even if it should be opened. I hope to get away the 8th if there is a steamer. It is very rough but I have not felt the least sick. There are a lot of people on board I know, but I am very lonely, and can only look forward to the children in America.  [[strikethrough]] & Mrs [[/strikethrough]] This thing has become an obsession  I want to live in it. I can see nothing else. Good bye dear. I wish light would come it is all dark.