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1894
Jan
Sat. 6th.  Reception day at my studio.

Found Alice when I went in.  She had a letter in her hand from Mrs. Young who had written to say that "she knew all" whatever that may be.  And that Alice could no longer write to her daughters, but that if she would be willing to begin a new existance, she (Mrs. Young) would try to help her earn her living by writing to a paper (not signed with her name) articles that Mrs. Young would try & get accepted for her.

Alice wept and wept. I felt as if my heart would break.
If I only was independant! -  But I am only my father's pensioner.

Reception - Joe Jenkins brought in Miss Olive, his artistic friend.  Small, (too

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small) gentle looking, with no apparent distinction of any kind. For what does "Go" like her so I wonder.

Mr. & Mrs Soule - Ruth Soule is in a very nervious state it seems.

Alice, Alice, I think of nothing but you and your suffering.

Symphony Concert in the evening.  All Wagner.  Materna sang, oh superbly! So fat I could think of nothing but a stuffed pig when she came in.  But such a voice!  It filled the air with volumes behind, and thrilled one to the inmost. Passionate, loving, always with a vibration of sympathy and understanding.  I fairly loved her fat old face before she got through and thought her expression fascinating.

Alice should have heard it.  How is it that life is so different from music - and the whole world can crash down upon one person.

I would write a book something like this