Viewing page 28 of 57

This transcription has been completed. Contact us with corrections.

[[preprinted]] [[underlined]] February 19 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]]

ever forget that?  The bane of my existance.  He replied - She interests me - which he has since denied saying.  One day I wanted some typing done and saw some boys in the hall & asked them if any of them would type it for me.  I don't know how I ever knew it was [[underlined]] him [[/underlined]].  I felt it more than knew it - We were talking about when he could do it for me - and everyone was gone nearly then - I said "You[[strikethrough]]'[[/strikethrough]]r[[strikethrough]]e[[/strikethrough]] name is John Vick isn't it?  "Yes" - "and you're going to write aren't you?  "I do - I not just going to.  "And who are your gods" "Sherwood Anderson and Edgar Lee Masters.  Do you like E.L.M? "He's so morbidly oversexed," - and then he quoted some lines from Spoon River Anthology - "to put meaning into life...."  I couldn't believe it.  It didn't seem true - I knew I would love him because I felt he was my superior - which in fact isn't the reason I do love him at all at any rate.  I was afraid he would slip away before I'd ever see him again.  So I asked him to walk home with me.

[[end page]]
[[start page]]  

[[preprinted]] [[underlined]] February 20 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]]

We talked till 6, sitting on the bank of a stream of water of some sort - He came back Saturday and Sunday nites.  Saturday we walked to an old soldier grave yard and we sat in the band stand and talked.  Sunday nite he told me of an affair he had when he was 16 - with a woman several years his senior.  I told him about Bas - Bas is to be married this Christmas - why do they get married since they've been living together so long?  The next Saturday morning I was in the library - He came and sat by me and we wrote notes.  That night he came out - It was cold - we went in the Williams and talked talked talked - saying nothing.  When we left he told me he had been reading Chopenhaur [[underlined]] On Suiside [[/underlined]] and deciding all this was futile would quit it all.  Great God - What a sensation.  I said something to the effect that it was cowardly when I knew that he would be doing a much braver thing than anyone ever does by merely living.  but damn - I couldn't think of being here and knowing he wasn't... but why do I say that?  Probably because I'm living it all over again - because now I'm not going to see him anymore - there isn't any use.  I just have to forget him.  I can't bear to feel so dependent on any one for happiness

Transcription Notes:
Schopenhauer