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[[preprinted]] [[underlined]] February 21 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]]

But that is now - I can live in the past - Then, I smoked & bit the end off the cigarette to keep from crying - I talked about inequality I said he was my superior - He kissed me.  Always since ^[[when]] I've been with him I've been either perfectly happy or desperately miserable - all according to how he degned to treat me.  He has such a power that no one ever has had over me.  The only reason. I don't care is because I love him so much.  He knows I am his inferior  He says I am bourgeoise - and that I consider being different, a virtue in its self - I disagree - I choose clothes with idea of not meeting myself coming and going but I do more just what happens to strike me than I do to please and impress the mob!  Most people I've found think I'm superficial.  I consider Alice wealthy & Margery Williams superficial - and I won't put myself [[strikethrough]] with [[/strikethrough]] in their class.

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[[preprinted]] [[underlined]] February 21 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]] 

November 27 - Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Irony of fate - What in hell is there to be thankful for?  Next door to me there is a house with the most fascinating fire in one of the rooms.  The fire is always burning. - and the shade is always up.  Only once I've seen someone sitting before it - an old man it was, he was reading a paper.  He looked very tired.  The fire is the most alluring thing I have ever seen - it is unattainable.  The lights are always low and there are big chairs - empty - around it.  I think its always there to taunt me. - for it seems so remote, so perfect.  It is sleeting outside.  There wasn't a thing to do - I can't work - I'm thinking too much about [[underlined]] him [[/underlined]].  I depend on him so much for happiness - when he left the library I couldn't stay.  For about two days I didn't need him at all.  It has been five days since I've been with him now.  Friday nite he was so so ironical - all the time he was making fun of me - because he thinks he understands me and I don't understand him - I wonder if he will ever accept me as I am.  Saturday