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[[preprinted]] [[underlined]] March 2 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]] from heaviness and so lacking in self conceit that they are a joy -. They will never produce - they are not tempermentally suited for such - Mr Sheehan will produce, but it will be so reeking of himself - adventursome and blustering and wordy that it will be of little value - and John will produce because he can see human nature - and because he has "a sense of porportion and sense of irony". I really think he will be great. He's to send me his first books he has printed. - one of short stories and several novels he has partially completed- then I shall know what he really thinks of me - what I probably otherwise would never know. I do know this - I'm the first girl he has ever been in love with and have probably done [[strikethrough]] as much [[/strikethrough]] more to teach him than a hundred books. He says he has enjoyed knowing me - and no matter what happens he will never regret it. I'm afraid he will be hurt. [[end page]] [[start page]] [[preprinted]] [[underlined]] March 3 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]] I'm really not thru browsing yet. I'm a Puritan at heart - in fact I guess I'm nearly all Puritan - I repress my impulses - sex - as the so-called decent girls - and the real modernist who in spirit is free is afraid of nothing - I am afraid of consequences - I can't break conventions - I want to stay on the fence. Few people know I ever date John - simply because I want them to think I conform to their silly rules - that are that one dates the socially prominent or none at all - Gad! the socially prominent - with no taste for music - art - literature - I can't destroy my taste for them, undiscriminating as it may be at time - so I have to have him. Last week he asked me to tell him truthfully whether I loved him or not - the emotion I felt for him is - as I said - stronger than any I have felt before. He didn't want to take such an indefinite answer - he wouldn't. Finally I said yes. I do love him as much as I've ever loved anyone.