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[[preprinted]] [[underlined]] March 16 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]]

While five minute - no 30 minutes ago - he said to my question, Why haven't you called me"?, "I haven't cared to". - then later - "Of course you didn't believe all that stuff I wrote you about I couldn't live without you."  I said of course not. I have changed my way of living and thinking for him [[strikethrough]] who [[/strikethrough]] and now since I have gone so far in his sphere I can not return to my old one.  I [[strikethrough]] had ocasional [[/strikethrough]] did not exactly fit in at the house - but enough that life wasn't absolutely miserable

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[[preprinted]] [[underlined]] March 17 [[/underlined]] [[/preprinted]]

and now I am postively out of place. I hate the boys that go there and I hate the narrow way in which they girls think..  There is Jack Appleby who is beginning to like me - he may like me a great deal because I will be thinking of John and not him.  I realize that I shall be wanting John because I feel that I can not have him - but damn - I can not control that desire.  He said he wanted to be alone a great deal this spring and write and would see me very little probably once every two weeks - If I could only let it be that way.  but I